I’ve been thinking a lot about love lately. Blessed to be married to the love of my life, as singer Tom Jones sang, love was “in the air” in our home on a daily basis.
The ‘gentle-giant-of-a-born-in-Holland-man’, Hans van der Werff and I met late in life. Friendship grew, and as love developed, it deepened, day by day. Life was a joy to be fully celebrated, shared and loved! And then having survived skin cancer and colon cancer, esophageal cancer attacked, quickly metastasized and he died June 26, 2016.
Thanks to memories of our ‘together times’ (our travels, laughter, wonderful conversations, moments of silence and oneness, creative Studio-times, our mutual curiosity about life, the playfulness approach to life we shared, and the love which was expressed in so many ways), he is and will always be alive in my mind and heart.
And yet … and yet … while memories are wonderful, the sadness that accompanies grief prevails, and I ask myself “how, when, where can I continue to live a life where peace prevails and ‘love is in the air,’ now that he is no longer by my side?”
I have been a life-long, firm believer that there is always at least one thing at the end of the day (even on the very difficult days of life) for which I can be grateful. An attitude of gratitude helped both Hans and I through some rough times in recent years.
So as I pondered my self-imposed question, I realized that the answer lay in the continuation of an attitude of gratitude for the blessings in my life: the big, the small, the magical, the ordinary, the extraordinary, the Mystical, the seen and unseen, the known and unknown.
In the midst of grief, of loss, of sadness, I choose life.
I choose to hold fast to the joy-filled memories. I choose to remember the hope that the grief-clouds will lift. I choose to acknowledge the glimpses of that precious ‘peace that passes understanding.’ I choose to have an attitude of gratitude for the blessings in my life. I choose to be a container of peace and love. And I choose to believe that (as Dame Julian of Norwich penned) “All shall be well. All shall be well. And all manner of things shall be well.”
I like Dame Julian’s words. They aren’t namby-pamby-words, saying “suck it up, buttercup.” Rather, they are a pointer … a pointer to the future. Whether that future is here on planet earth (or in the afterlife / third dimension / by-whatever-name), “all” really “shall be” well and ‘wellness’ shall become a reality. I am grateful for much, so very much. I believe that abiding in a life where “love is in the air” is a matter of intention, focus, gratitude and that in doing so, the memory of my loved one will be honoured and I the grief will begin to dissipate.
Whenever there is loss, at any level, in any situation (be that in our personal lives or on the global scene), there is grief. We must not deny our feelings time and space to surface. We must allow ourselves to enter and experience the grief, for in doing so, healing will come.
May “love in the air” be in thoughts, words, actions, in some small way each and every day in every corner of this aching world.
© June Maffin www.soulistry.com www.facebook.com/soulistry
Hans van der Werff www.soulistry.com/hans