we hugged at the top of the front porch steps.
then, with a smile and a “Bye, Mom, I’m off!”
he ventured down the steps and out to the sidewalk
… alone
yet not alone

i was three paces behind him
… to catch him if he fell
… to hug him if he felt afraid
… to cry with him if he injured himself
… to laugh with him if he giggled
… to reroute him if he got lost
… to protect him if he ventured off track
… to smile with him when he reached his destination
… to feel pride that he had walked to school “on his own”
because for days we had practiced the route
and he knew that I would be “with him”
… following close behind
… giving him that sense of independence
… and sense of security
and that the one who loved him unconditionally was with him
in ways that may have been
… indefinable
… undetectable
… inexplicable
yet oh so very real

 

That’s how I see the Creator
… always present
… allowing me space to be independent
… encouraging me to make my own decisions / choices / mistakes
and go my own way
aware that the One who unconditionally loves me is with me
in ways that are often
… indefinable
… undetectable
… inexplicable
yet oh, so very real

 

 

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photo & text  © june maffin
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An aside: While the original photo was damaged, the memories it evokes (of that oh-so-long-ago morning when my son, Tod, proudly walked to his first day at kindergarten and I walked behind him) are irreplaceable.

When he stopped, turned around, showed me his first-ever watch with a huge grin on his face and shouted with such delight, anticipation and excitement in his voice “I’m going to school!”, my heart melted.

This photo recalls each treasured step of that walk to his first day at school when he was “alone – yet not alone.”

 

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